Heine's Ramblings and Rumblings


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When Insults Had Class

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

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“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

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“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

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“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

– Clarence Darrow

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“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

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“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”

– Moses Hadas

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“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a

nice letter saying I approved of it.”

– Mark Twain

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“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

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“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

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·”Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ….if there is one.”

– Winston Churchill, in response.

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“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

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“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

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“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

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“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

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“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

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“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

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“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

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“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

– Mark Twain

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“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”- Oscar Wilde

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“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts…for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”- Billy Wilder

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“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx.

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Elephant gets frisky on car in Pilansberg

This is the moment a bull elephant on musth – when its testosterone levels can reach 60 times greater than normal –

decided to scratch an itch on a parked car. The two terrified occupants of this VW Polo found themselves in the

wrong place at the wrong time as a giant elephant stooped down to rub itself against the vehicle’s roof and bonnet.

The incredible images were taken by Armand Grobler, 21, a field guide and lodge manager,

in PilanesburgNational Park in South Africa.

 

There were two people inside the car at the time the massive bull elephant started playing with it

‘Yet even though it was in this condition, it displayed no signs of aggression or frustration and

was in a more playful mood.’Elephants frequently use logs, small trees and rocks to relieve an

itch or remove parasites – but with the car so close to hand, it was a chance too good to pass up.

Mr Grobler added: ‘We were unsure of what to do in the situation when the elephant made

contact with the car, and when the car was being crushed, we feared for the lives of the driver

and passenger but our efforts were very limited as to what we could do.

‘The all-round emotion that was within our vehicle, as we watched in horror, was that we were

rushed with adrenaline yet terrified and helpless.

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After the elephant had finished the car was left with four blown tires and a broken chassis

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The photos were taken by Armand Grobler, a field guide and lodge manager in

Pilanesburg, South Africa. The two passengers in the car, male and female, both in late 20’s

or early 30’s, were not harmed, only badly shaken up. They were both in shock but happy to be alive.

‘The car was not so lucky. From what we could see and hear, all the windows were smashed,

the roof was badly dented and the entire top part of the car smashed.

‘All four tyres had been blown and the chassis broken.’

As for the elephant, after giving itself a good scratch, it continued on it’s way itch free –

oblivious to the destruction it had left behind


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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie…….

 


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Top pics for 2013

75. THE FACE OF AN ICEBERG

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/the-face-of-an-iceberg/

74. AIRPLANE VIEW OF A DISTANT STORM

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/airplane-view-of-a-distant-storm

73. METICULOUSLY DISMANTLED VW GOLF

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/exploded-view-of-vw-golf-mk2

72. OPEN WATER ROLL CLOUD

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/open-water-roll-cloud/

71. THE TALLEST WATERFALL IN THE WORLD

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/angel-falls-worlds-tallest-waterfall

70. AN ALBINO HUMPBACK WHALE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/albino-humpback-whale-migaloo/

69. INVISIBLE REFLECTION

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/laura-williams-self-portrait-holding-mirror-grass/

68. PORTLAND’S FAMOUS JAPANESE MAPLE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/portland-famous-japanese-maple-tree/

67. MEXICO’S GIANTCRYSTALCAVE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/giant-crystal-cave-naica-mexico/

66. G RANDCANYON LIGHT SHOW

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/grand-canyon-light-show/

65. LONE CHAMOIS ABOVE THE CLOUDS

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/lone-tatra-chamois-above-the-clouds/

64. THE GORGE AT WATKINS GLEN

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/watkins-glen-gorge-rainbow-bridge-new-york/

63. IRIDESCENT ANTARCTI CA

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/09/iridescent-antarctica/

62. LOOK AT THIS BABY MUSK OX

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/look-at-this-baby-muskox/

61. UFO SPOTTED IN SEATTLE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/ufo-spotted-in-seattle-space-needle/

60. COLOGNE CATHEDRAL DURING WWII

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/cologne-cathedral-during-wwii/

59. HONG KONG AT NIGHT

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/hong-kong-skyline-at-night-victoria-peak/

58. THE WAITOMOGLOWWORMCAVES

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/waitomo-glowworm-caves-new-zealand/

57. WATERSPOUTS OVER THE ADRIATIC

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/waterspouts-over-the-adriatic/

56. THE FULL CIRCLE RAINBOW

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/the-full-circle-rainbow/

55. THE STUDLEY TOOL CHEST

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/07/ho-studley-tool-chest/

54. EARTH FROM THE DARK SIDE OF SATURN

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/07/earth-from-dark-side-of-saturn/

53. PRAISE THE SUN

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/07/praise-the-sun-silhouette/

52. SAN FRANCISCO IS STEEP

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/07/san-francisco-is-steep/

51. IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/07/in-the-heat-of-the-moment/

50. SAN FRANCISCO FOG

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/san-franscisco-fog/

49. YALE’S RARE BOOK AND MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/yale-rare-book-and-manuscript-library/

48. SUNSET IN SANTORINI

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/sunset-in-oia-santorini/

47. THE SKY WHALE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/the-sky-whale/

46. WHEN ART MEETS NATURE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/when-art-meets-nature/

45. SHELF CLOUD OVER TIMISOARA

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/shelf-cloud-over-timisoara-romania/

44. PONTHUS’ BEECH

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/ponthus-beech-bretagne-france/

43. FLYBY ECLIPSE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/06/flyby-partial-solar-eclipse/

42. UNDERWATER PERFECTION

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/perfect-timing-underwater-perfection/

41. POOLSIDE MOUNTAIN VIEW

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/cambrian-hotel-poolside-mountain-view-switzerland/

40. YOKOHAMA CHERRY BLOSSOMS IN BLOOM

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/picture-of-the-day-yokohama-cherry-blossoms-in-bloom/

39. BARN CONVERSION

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/barn-conversion-seagull-house-roderick-james-carpenter-oak/

38. FACE PLANT

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/face-plant-double-exposure/

37. THE MULTICOLORED ICEBERG

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/striped-multicolored-iceberg/

36. JUST ROOM ENOUGH ISLAND

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/just-room-enough-island-thousand-islands/

35. THE ROMAN POOL AT HEARSTCASTLE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/05/the-roman-pool-at-hearst-castle/

34. ABANDONED RAILWAY IN PARIS

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/petite-ceinture-abandoned-railway-in-paris/

33. THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/thats-what-friends-are-for/

32. THE ROCKY WAVE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/the-wave-paria-canyon-vermilion-cliffs-wilderness/

31. THE ANCIENT BANYAN TREE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/ancient-banyan-tree-big-island-hawaii/

30. FORESTONSHIPWRECKISLAND

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/ss-ayrfield-shipwreck-homebush-bay-sydney-australia/

29. FIRST FLIGHT

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/baby-ducks-first-flight-leaving-nest/

28. MOONRISE TIME-LAPSE OVER LA

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/moonrise-time-lapse-over-la/

27. GLACIAL WATERFALLS

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/glacial-waterfalls/

26. JUST A BIG CAT

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/04/close-up-lion-licking-paw/

25. A HORIZON RAINBOW IN PARIS

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/horizon-rainbow-in-paris/

24. KAMCHATKA ICE CAVE, RUSSIA

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/kamchatka-ice-cave-russia/

23. WORLD’S COOLEST SUBWAY ENTRANCE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/bockenheimer-warte-subway-entrance-frankfurt-germany/

22. THE TSUNAMI CLOUD

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/tsunami-cloud-lake-michigan-holland-state-park/

21. AURORA ASTRALIS FROM SPACE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/aurora-astralis-from-space/

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20. WAVES OF TIME

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/heart-shaped-kannesteinen-rock-norway/

19. COOLEST. DUCK. EVER.

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/awesome-surfing-duck-is-awesome/

18. THE EDGE OF INSANITY

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/looking-down-from-top-of-burj-khalifa/

17. DOWN THE SPIRAL

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/double-spiral-staircase-vatican-museums-giuseppe-momo/

16. WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/whiskey-on-the-rocks-of-fuji/

15. THE STAINED GLASS MAPPARIUM

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/stained-glass-globe-mapparium-boston/

14. MOON JELLY

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/aurelia-aurita-moon-jelly/

13. FORCES OF NATURE< /span>

12. COAL TRAIN AT SUNSET

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

11. LOOKING DOWN FROM LION’S HEAD

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

10. DUCT TAPE LANDSCAPE

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

9. THIS IS NORWAY

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

8. TRIPPY ICE EFFECT AFTER FLOOD

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

7. THE EYE OF THE MOON

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

6. THE SPACE ‘SELFIE’

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

5. CLOUD CITY, DUBAI

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

4. CONTRAST IN KRAKOW

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

3. BRUSSELS FLOWER CARPET

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

2. NATURE OVERTAKES THE GREAT WALL

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/

1. SUNRISE AT EASTER ISLAND

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/forces-of-nature/