Heine's Ramblings and Rumblings

Naughty Dogs!

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The diary of a Kariba Transplant

Stolen from Eric Sommer


The diary of a Kariba Transplant!

August 1
Just got transferred with work from London, UK to our new home in Chawara , Northern Kariba ..
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 1
Really heating up now. It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in London !!

September 15
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It’s Paradise !

October 1
The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it’s windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit.
I’ve learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25
This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant fucking blow dryer. And it’s hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fucking JHB
The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30
The temperature’s up around 40 and the parts still haven’t arrived for the fucking air conditioner.
House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the fucking air-conditioner fixed.
It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 35 degrees. Stupid repairman. Fucking thief.

November 8
If one more smart bastard says ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to fucking throttle him.
Fucking heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fucking clothes are soaking fucking wet and I smell like baked cat.
Fucking place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my fucking arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fucking arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

November 10
The Weather report might as well be a fucking recording..Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fucking sunny.
It never fucking changes!
It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 fucking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

November 15
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn fucking place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fucking pool.
The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fucking flies.
You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20
Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 fuckin’ degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’
I wanted to shove the fucking car up his fucking arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
Fucking KARIBA!
What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!

December 1
WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are fucking kidding me!

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Cheetah Encounter

Ex The Overland Forum


The young male jumped onto the bonnet to look for prey but with nothing in sight turned its attention to the front seat passenger Lee Whittam, 39.

He said: ‘In 21 years of guiding, this is the first time it’s happened to me.

‘But once we’d recovered from the initial shock we enjoyed the extremely close views and inquisitive looks from this young male as he sniffed, licked and chewed bits of the vehicle that intrigued him.’

The unusual sight was captured in the northern Serengeti, Tanzania.

Many cheetahs have become accustomed to the scores of game drive vehicles that visit the national parks and some use them as vantage points to scan the savannah for prey.

Mr Whittam, a tour operator with Essential Africa Guided Safaris, said he was never worried about being attacked even when the predator was just inches from him.

‘Cheetahs are rarely aggressive and it was clear the animal was being curious not aggressive,’ he added.

‘Young animals are often inquisitive but it’s not often that they actually make physical contact with a vehicle – and it is certainly not common to actually jump up on one.

‘What will probably happen in this case is that the young male will outgrow his inquisitive nature and stop jumping onto vehicles – but it’s very likely that he’ll remain totally relaxed in their presence.’


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Zim Tourist Authority INFO – BEIT BRIDGE BORDER POST staff to assist tourists coming into Zim

From the Overland Forum .


To all visitors and persons involved in tourism in Zimbabwe.

The Zimbabwe Tourism Authority have staff stationed at the Beitbridge border specifically to assist any visitors or tourists coming into Zimbabwe.

They are positioned at the end of the bridge in the car park as you cross into Zim, and will assist you right through the border, sorting out all the formalities, Road toll, Customs, Road tax, Immigration, Visas, Interpol, etc. and then see you right through to the exit gate, they will handle everything for you at absolutely no charge whatsoever.

That is their job and they are very proud of it, and it is to show the tourist that you can enter Zim without any problems and at no unforeseen costs.

I have personally used them and they were really friendly and gave a fantastic service, well worth using.

The Area Manager is Bertha Mutowembwa on 00263-286-23640/1 office, or 00263-772 344317 or 00263-712 320428 email. berthamuto and the Marketing Executive is Lindarose Ntuli on 00263-772 409373 or the above office No. email. lindarosentuli

All you have to do is drop them a mail the day before you expect to cross and then phone them before you cross over and they will meet you at the bridge to sort you out.

For any further information give me a call, KB Kariba 0777 965250.